The Birth of Chats

(Eph. 5.25-6.4)

The theme today, throughout the Church of England, is 'The Family'. You may have noticed that our readings were all concerned with family relationships. How husbands are to relate to wives, and wives to husbands, ...how children are to relate to their parents, and parents to children.

And of course, today is a very important day in the life of our church family; ...for in [5 hrs & 45 mins. / 7 hrs & 50 mins] time we will all have a new daughter! [Its a pity you can't be so precise with the timing of human births].

At 4.00 o'clock this afternoon we will be celebrating the first service of Chats, (the church at the school).

It was about a year ago that we first mentioned that we wanted to try for a baby.

It was about nine months ago when things really started to get going, ...and the core group got together for the first time.

They have worked very hard during these nine months, and have looked forward to today with a mixture of fear & trembling, and great excitement ...and I know this morning that some of them are feeling the pains of labour.

For the last nine months our baby has been growing inside us the mother church.

From time to time we have felt her moving, (like at the June and July family services), and many of us have felt very proud of her, (in the right sense of the word). But today is the day when our daughter will be born.

Now it goes without saying that everyone of us is warmly invited to the service. ...It's always good when the mother is present at the birth! And so if you can possibly make it, please come along.

Now I know that there is a limit to how far you can push this analogy, ...but I want to think about three ways in which I believe this analogy is very useful.

The first is in the area of love and encouragement.

A good mother doesn't abandon her daughter as soon as she is born. She doesn't say, "I've been looking after you for nine months, ...but you're on your own now".

Of course not! A child needs the love and encouragement of her parents throughout her life, ...but many people think that this is particularly important during the first few months of life. That's when the bonding between mother and baby takes place.

Now in the same way, Chats needs the love and encouragement of us, the mother church. And this is going to be particularly important during the first few months.

Those involved are just like everyone else. At times we all feel vulnerable, insecure, nervous, and unsure of ourselves, but we are particularly prone to such feelings when we start something new. Can you remember how you felt when you started something new? Perhaps a new job? ...or came to church for the first time? ...or you moved house?

Well those involved with Chats are likely to be feeling a bit like that, ...and they need our love, our encouragement, and our prayers.

If you are coming to the Chats services, try to be encouraging to those who take part. If you are not, you can show that you care by asking them how things are going.

We all thrive in an atmosphere of warmth and encouragement, and shrivel and die in an atmosphere of criticism.

That's not to say that constructive criticism doesn't have its place, ...but a newborn baby needs encouragement far more than it needs constructive criticism.

The second thing that a baby needs is practical help.

You can show a baby a nappy, but she can't change herself, ...no matter how much you encourage her!

During the first few months and years there are many things that a child can't do, ...and so she depends upon her parents to help her out.

And in a similar way there are things which Chats can't do, ...and so she again depends on us, her mother church, to help her out.

Even now there are many practical ways in which you can do that:

- Chats is organising an American Style Thanksgiving evening, with some traditional American food and line dancing. It is going to be held at Binley Club, a week on Friday.

- You can help by coming along and supporting it, ...or better still, inviting some of your friends who don't come to church. Tickets are available at the service this afternoon.

- You might also be able to help by making some American style puddings.

- Chats is also trying to visit people in the area, and they would love some help with that.

- They are also trying to set up a team of people who can help with setting things up for the service, and making sure that everything is clean and tidy afterwards. (For example, there are dozens of chairs which need moving this afternoon).

- They also need some financial help. For example they would like to buy an OHP, so that they don't have to keep transporting the one which we use here at church.

Our new daughter is very small and we can't expect her to do everything on her own. So if you are willing to help in any of these practical ways it would be greatly appreciated. Please have a word with Ann, or Les, or anyone else on the Chats team.

Of course as a child grows up she is able to do more things for herself, ...and that brings me to the third thing that a child needs, ...a child needs the freedom of a growing independence.

We know that a newborn baby is entirely dependent upon its parents, ...but we also know that there is something terribly wrong if a teenager is equally dependent.

As time goes by, children need the freedom to make their own mistakes, and to let them learn from them. As a parent I know how difficult that can be.

We give our children a little bit of independence by allowing them to spend their pocket money in the ways that they want. Unfortunately the things that they choose are the last things we would have bought them. They are often conned by attractive packaging, and end up buying tacky toys which are soon broken. Part of me would like to say, "I won't let you spend your pocket money on that rubbish", ...but I know that as they grow older, they need to learn how to handle such freedom.

The aim of parents is to allow their child to grow into maturity, so that they can leave the family home, and ultimately can have children of their own.

Of course a mother continues to love and encourage her child, even when she is a adult, ...but the mother has to 'let go', or else full maturity will be stunted.

And in a similar way, as time goes by, we too must learn how to 'let go' of Chats. They need the freedom to slowly develop their own 'style' of worship, and their own ways of doing thing. Gradually they must become more independent from us the mother church, or else their maturity will be stunted.

But of course, that involves us taking a risk, doesn't it? We take a risk when we 'let go' of our human children, ...they sometimes go seriously off the rails and badly let themselves down. And we will be taking a risk when as we 'let go' of our daughter church, ...for as we have recently been hearing on the news, churches too can go seriously off the rails and badly let themselves down.

But as with human children, it's a risk that we must take.

And here I think the our Epistle reading is very relevant.

St Paul is giving instructions for family relationships. It is a passage which is often mis-understood, because we fail to see the context in which it was written.

The context is summed up in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21, (which is a few verses before our reading). This is the key verse, and it says:

"Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ".

All of us must be willing to serve anyone, to learn from anyone, to be corrected by anyone, ...regardless of age, sex, or any other division. All of us are to put the needs of others before our own ambitions.

Remember how Jesus said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all" (Mk. 9.35).

That was the example that Jesus gave us, and which he called us to follow. And which St. Paul applies to family life.

We are all to submit to one another, ...and so:

- wives are to submit to their husbands;

- but husbands are to submit to their wives, and to love them as Christ loved the church;

- children are to submit to their parents, and be obedient to them;

- but parents are to submit to their children, and not drive them to resentment.

And once again I believe that this principle is the key to the future relationship between Chats and the mother church. Each called to have an attitude of submission to the other, ...each is called to put the needs of the other before it's own ambitions.

In this way we hope and pray that the relationship between mother and daughter will grow in mutual love, mutual encouragement, and mutual practical help until Christ returns.

Amen.